Tonight is a night for fun, fun, fun! When you grow up Halloween is not so much about candy as it is about super slutty costumes and lots of cocktails!
But just because you look like and idiot (Paris) that is no excuse to act like one!
Please remember tonight, that their are LOTS of other Drunky McGoos ot on the roads this Halloween!
So please call a taxi. Just dial 411 and get the number of a taxi service near you...
Because if you are drunk dialing at 4am, it should be to a cab company and not your ex-boyfriend!
Get together with your friends and rent a limo!
How fun! Now when your driving around looking for the next party... You are actually having the best kind of party!
You could always designate a driver... You know your pregnant friends still wanna go out, and they CAN'T drink!
If worse comes to worst, you can always call your mom to come pick you up! Just like high-school!
Of course she may send your dorky 17 year old brother, but whatever at least you will get home safe!
Because seeing this guy at a party is funny, but do you really want to run into him on the road?
In the famous words of our adorable Jewish boyfriends The Beastie Boys....
if your diving don't drink,
and if your drinking don't drive.
Ahhhh yea, Good'night!