Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Random Hearts??? Lana Del Rey

(Lana Del Rey promo shot: Stolen from

We know you guys, We know.... We've been gone almost over a year, with two beautiful babies to show for it... And endless good intentions to sit down and post a wonderful piece for our true blue readers and supporters.... And we come back for Lana Del Rey?!

We KNOW!!!

But you guys... It's just something that can't be helped.

(Sixteen Candles image stollen from Cinema GOD, John Hughes)

We are officially obsessed. Going through the day checking and re-checking google images to make sure that, yes! Lana Del Rey does still look EXACTLY like the older drugged sister from Sixteen candles!

(as our dear & insightful friend Emily pointed out)

(Image match stolen from an unknown genius)

Checking to make sure that, yes! She is still some what annoyingly slow and pouty in her singing style....

And finally that YES, she does have the same name as the man-hungry 1970's O.G cougar from Three's Company!

(Image of Lana & Jack from Three's Company)

We are going for full honesty, pour-out-our-guts-ness here.
Paula Abdul style, STRAIGHT UP NOW.

We really want to hate her.... It has been so long since these feeling of confusion, stomach churning dislike mixed with secret admiration and jealousy have reared their ugly heads inside of us. Almost exactly, since high school actually.
She is THAT girl!

Oh my God you guys! Look at her!

Lana Del Rey is like a young Julia Roberts that you just absolutely, positively, Just do NOT want to be besties with... That is unless she wants to be besties with us and then, in that case, sure, call me and I guess we can hang or whatever.

(Image of Mystic Pizza stolen from: Donald Petrie)

All we hear about these days is Lana Del Rey.... Our husbands listen to her in the car, in the office and are constantly trying to convince us that her songs are actually really new and innovative and that her lyrics are amazing...

Yeah, thats true.. Ok, we really DO like the lyrics to Video Games..

She MIGHT even actually be a Gangsta Nancy Sinatra or WHATEVER.... But we know 96% of it has to do with the fact that home girl looks like this....

(Image stolen from:

Lana is like every indy, musician , skater boy, graffiti guys dream girl... In the end does it really even matter if she was manufactured in a record company board room?

She wears short, shorts and red high top converse in her F*cking videos people!

She wears ringer shirts and Esther Williams style flowers in her hair!

If she was created in a board room, then there were some genius decisions made that day!

As much as we want to be haters, we kinda can't... And why do we want to be anyway? Why did we spend/waste time finding her before and after plastic surgery photos?

(Image: Interview magazine duh.)

We live in HOLLYWOOD.... Who hasn't had a little work done? Although we do love the gals who openly cop to it, (because it's a little insulting to think we are that naive?) does it really make a difference? She was pretty in the before pictures anyway....


(Image: unknown source)

True story: One of us actually sent this before photo to her husband like,

"Look at your girlfriend before her lip job. Not trying to be a bitch..."

A. I was totally trying to be a bitch

B. his response was "Whatevs".

C. Seriously, just trying to remind you that my lips are ALL real dude.

See? That is some high school shiz... Why is this girl getting under my skin?

Is it because I don't like her? Or because when I borrow my husbands car I totally enjoy listening to her album and then change it to the Beastie Boys when I get out so as not to be discovered? Hmmmm?

Whatever it is we are torn... TORN, torn as her high waisted short shorts...

How do you feel? Let us know in the comment section.
Unless you live with either of us, in that case keep it to yourself mister.

Things We Heart


DRM Holding Hands said...

She is definitely hateable in a jealous, childish way but amazing music and amazing style. Glad to see you ladies are back to the blogging!

mel said...

Well.... i read this first (as my eyes bulged that there was a new TWH post!! weeeee), THEN had my first LDR experience... and well, um, i have watched video games an undisclosed amount of times in the last 24hrs???? interviews, stalking her homepage and def feeling bummed when i saw i missed her at BoweryB back in dec, her snl debachary, etc etc.. !!!..SSO, i feel you ladies !... she's a straight babe, cant even deny (even though i tried to find a way to in my mind), but i'm torn too??? for now, until she, or someone else pushes me off the LDR fence, i'm just kinda in limbo?? but then not cause i def posted VG video on my fb????? ha. interested to see how this one will unfold. word up for/ to this post!! <3<3

eileen said...

Her whole image seems (to me at least) way too contrived to be genuine. I guess thats my way of not fully jumping on the Lana train just yet. I watched some old youtube videos from a few years ago and she has so much more personality when performing. now its all dull and dreary. :/

DRM Holding Hands said...

I just saw this post on the Jeffery Campbell website, thought you might be interested in reading:

nana said...

I like her - and all those confusing things i like to keep in the box "mysterious".

Without those she might end up being even boring....?